So, I’m not exactly in love with Dr. Travelocity Gnome. Bunny–my therapist–recommended him because he’s a specialist in mood disorders. My depression was spiraling, and I knew I needed to see someone before I completely painted myself into a dark corner.

To his credit, Dr. Travelocity Gnome prescribed just the right pharmaceutical cocktail to turn my mood around. I appreciate that. I also appreciate that he’s a straight shooter.

During our last session he looked at me, square in the eye and said, “Welcome back from Crazytown.”

(Are shrinks suppose to say crazy?)

It made me laugh.

I am feeling better, and I think I’ve really rounded a corner. I’m feeling a little bit hypomanic, actually, so I asked him when I should begin to worry. He said, “when the people in your life tell you you’re becoming a pain in the ass. Then your meds might need to be adjusted.”

Seems reasonable, I guess.

He told me the goal is to keep me at normal to slightly hypo, all the time. He said he’s only worried about big dips in either direction.

All of this makes sense. And I’m confident I’m in good hands, under his care.

But…I’m just not sure we have a future together.

For one thing, he’s very clearly into Freud:

His office smells like Sex Panther.

And it’s filled with phallic art.

And he sits behind a gigantic marble desk during our sessions.

(Where exactly does one buy a desk made entirely of marble, anyway?)

Additionally, and most importantly, I just don’t think our relationship is very sustainable.

He doesn’t accept my insurance, so I have to pay him $400 for what amounts to 40 minutes of his time, each session.


My insurance only reimburses me a teensy bit of that, so you know, there’s that.

(Trying to save up for a wedding, here, folks!)

He wants to see me every two weeks until he decides that I’m stable enough.

So, at this point, I’m pretty sure I’m buying him a boat.

And I’m starting to resent it.

I have a therapist. The way I see it, I basically just need a psychiatrist to manage my medication.

Do I really need to see someone every two weeks? Then every month? Is that standard?

And why is it so hard to find a psych doc who actually accepts my insurance?

I’m one of the lucky ones, too. I have pretty good insurance. But, I’ve made dozens of calls over the past couple of weeks, and only just found a doctor who is accepting new patients, and will take my insurance.

No wonder there are so many people out there, arguing with lamp posts. Who can afford to be mentally ill?

It shouldn’t be this hard.

And receiving treatment for potentially life-threatening conditions shouldn’t just be for the privileged.


3 thoughts on “Crazytown

  1. Dang. That really blows. Up here in Canada, we usually have to pay for therapists (generally much, much cheaper), although the last one I saw was actually an MD who did cognitive behavioural on the side, so it was covered. Basically, if they have an MD, it’s covered. I hope some day it’s the same in the US. For all the crazy fuckers going off with guns and shit, you’d think mental health would be a priority, but I guess it’s more important to live free and die. I do think that for sure, if you’re on a cocktail, you need to check in regularly for awhile with a psychiatrist to monitor side effects or changes in your reaction to them. That’s a fuck of a lot of cash though. yeesh.

    • Down here, we have politicians who are voting against mental health parity. To them, it’s clearly not a real medical condition. And there doesn’t seem to be enough providers on hand to see patients. Maybe that’s why so many of these psychiatrists can charge whatever they want. I FINALLY found someone who takes my insurance. I’ll see him on the 21st. I guess monthly visits won’t be so bad if I can actually afford them.

  2. I started out with seeing my psych every month while my meds were being adjusted, then two, then three and now with consistent stability I won’t see him again for 6 months. I also have progressed from weekly therapy to now seeing my therapist every 6 weeks for a check in. I can call either of them when I need to. I appreciate both of these ‘team’ players. My psych is about $200 visit. My therapist is $260. We met our deductible in June so all of my appts and meds are ‘free’ now until Jan 1.

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