Food For Thought

Well, this isn’t very encouraging.

I have several windows open on my laptop right now, and I’m flipping back and forth between them all.

I’m g chatting.

I’ve texted so much today that I’ve worn the battery out and my phone needs charging.

I have  to multi-task, or right now, I will  bounce around the room like an effing pinball.

Michael asked me last night if it’s okay to tell me when he can’t keep up with me. I told him, of course.

He said,  “Honey, I can’t keep up with you, right now.”

Sigh.

I’m not sure many people can.

I can’t even keep up with my own thoughts.

I called Dr. Travelocity Gnome and he told me to take a Clonazepam. In fact, take two, they’re small (they’re only .5mg).

I still feel greeeeeeat, but have noticed that I’m getting a little impatient with people.

G’ah! Slap on a racing stripe and let’s get going, folks! Keep up!

Since I’m guessing this is an unreasonable expectation to have, and since I am prone to mixed states, I want to try to manage this before the Impending Doom Syndrome sneaks up on me.

This rapid cycling business is for the birds. It’s a fairly new development (it may have started about a year ago?), and I am not liking it one bit. I wish there was a return policy.

The Gnome says most of us bipolar two-ers develop it at some point.

Lucky us!

He says to call him when something “big” happens in my life and we can discuss adjusting my medications.

“Traveling cross country? Gimme a call.”

“A few months before your wedding? Gimme a call.”

“You get the idea.”

I do get the idea. But I am bearing in mind that this is a doctor who has “Better Living Through Chemistry” written on his Rx pad. I am not kidding.  I once asked him if there was anything, nutritionally that I should consider with this diagnosis, and this was basically his response:

So, my questions to my fellow bipolar rollers are as follows:

1. Have you found there to be any nutritional factors in controlling (or at least managing) symptoms? Should I be considering any dietary restrictions?

2. Are there any techniques (or diversions?) you’ve learned, that help you manage hypomania?

3. Is it going to be possible for me to ride it out without it turning into an ugly mixed state every time–which, for me, is the most terrifying part of this disorder?

4. Am I always going to have to adjust my meds whenever life  happens?

I’m seeing the new shrink Tuesday morning, so, we’ll see where he stands on all of this. In the meantime, I would love to know your thoughts…

Happy (Hypomanic) Friday!

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7 thoughts on “Food For Thought

  1. I was reading this nodding my head up and down furiously…I also have the rapid mixed state stuff now.I have had episodes since..forever, but this rapid thing is only over the last year or so.It is scary stuff not knowing where you are heading from one hour to the next.I can physically feel my moods drop at times,I actually sad it out loud.’oh wow’ I am slowing down, I am depressed now’ This is always after a mixed wired episode where I might even have had a rush to my head, like a pressure.. and then the giggles come.I swear this is unnerving I want my money back too…I get the feeling meds are going to have to change over and over as the rapid cycling causes its own set of symptoms.I don’t have many stable times Everything is a rollercoaster of feeling.I am wondering the same questions you asked………anyone??

    • Thanks for reading! It’s comforting to know I’m not alone, although, I hate that any of us have to deal with it. thefarsideofcrazy had some great recommendations he posted in the comments of my previous post. I’m going to try some of the suggestions he made.

  2. I’m only newly diagnosed, too. I have found plenty of diversions and distractions from the depressive end of the scale, but unfortunately have yet to find any for the hypomanic end. If you discover any tips at the psychiatrist on Tuesday, I’d love to hear about them. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help, but if nothing else, at least you know you’re not alone in that question!

    • Hi Kim: Thanks, for reading and commenting. I guess we newbies will learn together, yes?

      Unfortunately, I am going to have to test this whole med adjustment/life stress thing out, right now. My dad had a stroke so I am on my way to Denver (from DC) to be with him. I’ll have to reschedule my psych appointment. The Gnome has upped my Lamictal, so we shall see…

  3. I entered the world of mixed states and then rapid cycling almost 3 years ago after one of the worst depressions of my life. In my discovery, I realized that for almost 3 years prior I was mostly in a hypomanic state. In reading your past posts, I, too like you, thought the high, good, happy times of hypomania were the ‘real’ me. I certainly didn’t like the depressed me. I was diagnosed with bipolar II 3 years ago this month. Oh, what a ride it’s been. I’ve now been quite stable for 6 months with just a bit of a mild depressive stretch for a month this summer. I have charted and monitored and become aware of triggers and tools. Yes, diet makes a huge difference. Too much sugar puts me into a coma or leads to major overeating and then bulimic tendencies. I can say I haven’t made myself throw up for many months. I avoid caffeine…revs me up and puts me over the edge into high anxiety or hypomania. I also avoid alcohol. Found out in August after experimenting ‘successfully’ for a few weeks (I’d been scared to drink again because of the meds), that 3 drinks in a night without lots of food and water in between causes a tremendous hangover. Alcohol really does a number on my thought processes and perception. In the past it was in times of alcohol consumption that rage either towards someone else or myself comes out. I can feel the irritation build. I’ve also experienced more uninhibited behavior. Oh, yeah, I can become whoever I want!

    It took 1 1/2 years to get the meds right. Luckily for me, my pdoc realized that my first med Tegretol wasn’t working. I was rapid cycling so fast, it made my head spin! My poor dear hubby… Then it was a slow switch from Tegretol to Lamictal (400 mg) over 6 months to get to proper levels. He added in Trazodone (50 mg) and melatonin (10 mg) for sleep. I take an herbal supplement from Shaklee called Stress Relief Complex that helps with the anxiety. Don’t switch too quickly from one med to the next thinking it’s gonna be a ‘magic bullet’. There isn’t such a thing.

    Before BP, I used to call my excess brain activity the “brain frizzles”. I’d joke about it with my friends because I thought everyone had that. The layering and swirling of thoughts was unbearable sometimes. After episodes I’d just crash and burn. The doc that diagnosed me clued me in that not everyone feels like I do or has thoughts like I do. Characteristics of bipolar. Made sense.

    Now I know when I have more than 5 or 6 windows open on the computer, a piece of paper next to me writing down all of these fabulous ideas, whirling through the house cleaning, thinking constantly of sex…oh, yeah, I just might be a wee bit hypomanic (ha). That’s when I pull out the guided meditations that I bookmarked on my computer, listen to soothing music, head outside to sit in the sun or walk through my gardens, take a warm bath, slather anything lavender on my body, take a handful of stress relief tabs and become grounded once again.

    You will learn your triggers and you will learn what tools to use. Your therapist will help guide you. I remember one time my therapist said to me, “Shelly, you’re tired, sleep.” I didn’t recognize even the basic bodily clues of sleep when I’m tired and eat when I’m hungry.

    • Shelly, thank you for this thoughtful comment. I’m realizing there is still much for me to learn about this disorder. I *still* don’t catch myself when hypomania creeps in subtly. I just read what you wrote about having multiple windows open on the computer, etc., and realized I’m doing that right now (and have a Word document open so I can take notes on things, and I’m texting, and thinking I should run the vacuum before I go to bed…). Yikes. Might be time to turn things off.

      I look forward to more of your insight. Thank you.

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