I need adult supervision.
Michael’s been out-of-town for less than 24 hours and already, my schedule is out of whack.
I stayed up far too late last night reading Oliver Sacks’ Musicophilia and convincing myself that I have Williams Syndrome, or possibly brain inflammation that could lead to (fingers crossed!) the sudden ability to compose and conduct music.
Also, I just ate fudge for lunch.
The lack of sleep has made me a wee bit manic today.
Also...I JUST ATE PURE SUGAR FOR LUNCH.
I’m enrolled in this Social Rhythms study at GWU. One of the things I have to do to participate is track my mood, and my daily activities. I had to set goals for myself–things like when I wake up; when I eat meals; my first interaction with another human being; bedtime, etc. Simple things, right?
Well, as it turns out, I have no social rhythm.
I’m averaging about a 60% “hit” rate right now. This is largely due to my inability to make myself go to bed at night. Sticking to a schedule is hard. Two Sundays in a row, I met 0% of my goals. Zero percent!
I’m going to have to print out my charts and show my shrink that I am failing at life.
I was supposed to see him this Friday, but he had to reschedule. On one hand, this is good: I have two weeks to improve my grade. On the other hand: I had lots of things to discuss with him before I leave for Hawaii on Monday.
Did I mention that? I’m going to Hawaii next week. For work.
Great opportunity, right? However, I’m probably the only person in the office who doesn’t really want to go to Hawaii. I’m sure it’s gorgeous, but I’m really worried about how much it’s going to fuck with my mood cycle. It’s a 14 hour flight. And Hawaii is six hours behind DC. And I suck at math. When am I suppose to take my meds?
Here I go sounding ungrateful again, right?
I’m just anxious. And I’m feeling a little bit cranky right now, because I’ve had an earache all week. Michael told me I need to make an appointment to see my PC before I get on a plane Monday, or my head might explode, but since I’m pretty sure she’s taken a restraining order out on me, I don’t see that as an option. In fact, I’m pretty sure we have to move now, out of DC, to a place where the doctors don’t know I’m a crazy, ranting bitch.
I’ve looked online for earache remedies. Most of the remedies I found involved squeezing onion/garlic/ginger/radish juice into my ear. Hmmm, I’m skeptical. Sounds like a trick, to me.
WebMD did nothing but convince me that it’s probably a blood clot that is causing the pain. Great, because that’s all I need.
So, I guess I may have to violate the restraining order, and call the doctor.
And create a plan for not going bat-shit crazy in Hawaii.
I need an adult.